Yeah.  38.  An obviously blind young woman who does know me actually thought I was 30.  I asked her if she really didn't see all my gray hair.

I'm hoping this child keeps me young.  I certainly don't feel 38.  In fact I do feel 30.

Is it clean living?  I don't know.  I spent a few years in my twenties abusing my body in so many ways.  It can't be "clean living." 

My body is like a roller coaster.  I've been a whopping 215lbs and then in a short three months dropped to a cut 175.  Within six months I'm back at a very puffy but strong 195, then skinny and a little soft and 180 pounds.  Why? Who knows.  Lately I've been sporting the slight pooch.  I'm back to working on it, kettlebell in hand, but it just happens.

So, it's certainly not anything to do with how I treat my body.

I would also venture a guess that my youthfulness has nothing to do with what I eat.  I do have a fairly firm rule that we only eat real food.  Nothing processed with stuff we can't pronounce.  Which is good.  But I can sum up my food philosophy in one fattening word:  butter.

So, it's not diet that keeps me perpetually 30.

I'm a bit of an insomniac, although that's working with the little one.

I don't smoke, so there's that.

I don't drink a lot and have not since I was about 22.  So that's good.

I don't drive but once every couple months, so there goes stress from road rage... but I do have to navigate the streets of the most stressful city in the country, so that might be even.

Maybe it's that I'm still just a kid.  I'm the oldest of three kids, but I maybe the youngest soul.

My occupation is to create plays. The word "play" is an integral part of what I do.  I play for a living.  So that must have something to do with it.

I can only hope that it lasts.  I can only hope that I can keep my youthful exuberance until he goes off to college.

And I have to keep working on other things, too...  I have to keep the knees healthy so I can get into a squat to catch for him as his Uncle Justin teaches him how to pitch.  I have to keep my back strong I can teach him how to post up and track rebounds.  I have to keep my heart healthy so I can keep up with him when Uncle Adam has him cross courting tennis balls at me.

And I have to keep myself from settling into the "adult" role too much, so I can dream with him, imagine with him and be open to play whenever the urge grabs us.

I only hope when I'm almost 56 and he goes off to college that I might look, and feel, around 45.

There's something to be said for having kids early.  You get to grow up with them. But having them later has it's blessings, too.  We feel ready, secure and surprisingly youthful.


April 3, 2010 at 3:07 AM 妍慧 said...


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