The Boy's Club

People have strong feelings about finding out the sex of their child before it's born.  Some feel it's one of the few surprises in life.  We didn't need that surprise.

We found out we're having a boy.  I know these things can be wrong, but we got a pretty good view during the full body scan at the Fetal Evaluation Unit at Roosevelt Hospital.  Boy.

In fact, on the print out of the scan, right next to my son's schpoondle, is the word BOY.  The doctor typed it in, just in case we weren't sure what was in that photo.

I know Angie is excited.  Five months of calling this child "she" are morphing into calling him "he."  I'm glad we found out.  I've heard of women who have a hard time after nine months convinced it's one sex then giving birth to another.  It's not that they don't love the child, but that their expectation was so different.  Angie only took a day to truly wrap her head around it.

Then she said something that nearly broke my heart.

"Just don't let it become the boy's club, okay?"

I never thought of us having a boy suddenly making her the odd man out... or odd woman out, as the case may be.  In fact, I never thought of any kind of exclusion because of the child's sex.  (I will be praying for a girl next time.  Balance.) 

I do understand her feelings. 

I'll be at home with my son most of the time.  After Angie does the heavy lifting of the pregnancy, I'll get to do all the fun stuff with him and she'll be the "girl" of the group.  None of this occurred to me because I was raised, like most people our age, with my mother at home.  When I was older, my mother worked but I'd do homework in the kitchen, helping her cook - only because my dad's office at home was boring and he'd be working on things that didn't interest me:  most involving math.

I hate math.

But my mother's kitchen interested me and that's where I was.  We spent time there.  My father and I spent time naturally, because as men, we do have common interests.  He'd take me to soccer and basketball, coach little league, take me fishing.  But my mother and I had time.  There was a balance.

I don't want her to feel left out.  She will be reading him all the classics, The Swiss Family Robinson, Huck Finn...  she gets home, it's their time.  We'll play catch during the day, and I'll teach him how to run a fade route and play defense in the post - Angie will teach him to be centered in the evening, doing her yoga with him playing on her mat, teaching him to love language, art, music and dance.

Food is my area.  He'll be shaping baguettes by the time he's 3.  

Time.  I will have the gift of time with my son.  But my new goal is balance.   I want to make sure she has plenty of time alone with him.  There's no reason there can't be a girl in the boy's club.